1. |
Mother's Records
02:29
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got home
shook the day off
took it all off
yeah
got stoned
for the first time
since I was nineteen
and took out my mother's records
lit a votive candle
& listened to know her
rewind
can't pin our lives on a clothesline
cheek on your belly
kick of the baby
where was the camera crew?
I step into photo booths
to find you
& wait for truth
to wrap its arms around me
held your hands at the drug store,
broke bread at the drive through
close my eyes to step into
your love
which are hers
and which are mine?
which are a stranger's
she left behind?
I'm a thrift store explorer
I'm a history hoarder
But I don't own anything
not even my soul
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2. |
Feels Right
03:33
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wind around me
this is complete
&when my arms go numb
I choose to keep on holding
bed as wide as the room
a fleck of purple in your eyes
I stretch forever
straight to the sublime
doesn't make sense
but it feels right
doesn't make sense
but it feels right
we found a boat
half-buried in the woods
you say you like the look
of old tattoos
faded & blue
& as the night comes
we change shape
too
doesn't make sense
but it feels right
doesn't make sense but it
feels right
doesn't make sense
but it feels right
doesn't make sense but it
feels right
ohhhhhhh
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3. |
Vespers
03:42
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you weren't asked but you borrowed a dress
stood at the edge
through shoo-wop dee-doos
& stairway to heaven
walked the long way home
took a picture of yourself
shuffled yourself around the room
humming clair de lune
taffeta sky
tears in your eyes
it's the least romantic night of your life
if you leapt
would you land on a trampoline
burn everything
burn everything
head bowed in the night's breeze
faces in the mist and vespers to kali
incense drifts through the mothlight
the stars crown you queen of wounding
I sew your name into mythology
glorify your excessive yearning
the woman on the moon is winking
you charge under her light
taffeta sky
tears in your eyes
it's the least romantic night of your life
and you're too young
to know a capped infinity
burn everything
burn everything
taffeta sky
tears in your eyes
taffeta sky
tears in your eyes
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4. |
Onion Grass
03:32
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you put a stalk
of onion grass in your mouth
we were heading out
past where we were allowed
you put a hold
on everything I knew
deerlike I leapt into
the aim of the kudzu
we were tied in our looking
amazed by everything
each other's
witness to the truth
we wrote the field guide
to the left-behind
we wore beer tab rings
and wild violet crowns
made a bed of the moss on the ground
I believe
I believe
we picked onion grass
thought we could live off it
hershey wrappers fell from our pockets
we lined up coke can targets
I licked your spoon
to get closer to you
I felt like huck finn in a house dress
you added more weights to the bench press
oh I'd never be your wife
and you'd stomp on the world of our minds
I hear you in the static
of night
behind the clearing, a country
we named it, I live in it
up ahead I don't know
I chew onion grass alone
I believe
I believe
I believe
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5. |
Candy Cigarettes
02:26
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I lived out every bet you made
I licked the floor, I ran in place
by the fountain in the mall
we puffed our chests and crossed our legs
smoked candy cigarettes
then learned to wait
fluorescent stars
and a neon milky way
when he comes we expect it
divine intervention
he permits our evolution
and from the corners of our mouths we
exhale and blow ourselves away
pinpricks of consciousness
but nothing to say
smoke candy cigarettes
then learned to wait
smoked candy cigarettes
blew ourselves away
smoked candy cigarettes
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6. |
Little Sister
03:21
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eyes veined like the roots of our tree
I shoved you
six stitches in your head, you spit
called me a bitch
breaking her heart
stealing a fifth
we're both so furious
kicked a hole in the wall,
ripped the lock off my journal
hoping from bus to train
just like I did, shaking out the kid
you surf past beaches without sand
and you’ve always swam faster than me
farther than me
we act how we’ve been shown
hands shielding heads from bombs
and home blueprints
schemed on boats
held you with the door
closed
praying for silence
and a minute or two alone
head on your sweatshirt as a pillow
you dream quicker and clearer
I didn't care that they would miss me
I can see you, faintly, faintly
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7. |
Fly Through
02:47
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watched him hike higher
till he was no longer
lagged behind, my laces untied
took pictures of the ground
now he's in the news
I won’t bike while I’m in the city
but I drive all night
silhouettes on the dotted line
the mesa
on the lighter that he left
in my room
orange to blue
I imagined
climbing way up to the top
lying out, spreading out
never falling off
like a hunk of clay
formed and set and ready to break
i'd rather be
dirt
it was a mistake
momentary dip in imagining
foot on the break
it's hard to breathe
that's how I know I'm awake
it’s two
here in my leaky room
screenless window
I let the moths
fly through
flick on the lamp
& watch the shadows bloom
when I move
they move
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8. |
Tourmaline
02:24
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she called me with her hands
and I followed her down that hill
the sky black tourmaline
I was ready to try anything
didn't tell anyone
how my head spun
mute explosions in slow motion
I missed the lilies blooming
last fourth of july
the moon hid her face and cried
I wore love like a shroud
and stomped around
I dream of synched envisioning
but I have trouble listening
so I knelt down to eat what she offered me
and she waited
pink sky & lightning
flying dreams
distant tambourines
turning
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9. |
Said No
02:40
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said no
drove far
past her expectations,
I refused to play my part
walking out
the open door
is like surviving
a war
bought a necklace to stop shaking
jade with a gold chain amulet
throw the I ching like when I was eighteen
toss all my pennies in the fountain
In the bathtub I’m a genius
preaching to memories
then I levitate, no longer privilege pain
signal crowd cheering
Fill the water to the top
To be held, to stop gripping
Let it slosh over, leak through the ceiling
I wanna stain something
Mirror, mirror
No to blood family
To underwire, copper in my body,
Frozen peas and being so hungry
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10. |
Olive, NY
03:15
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11. |
Queen Anastasia
01:46
|
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rubies & pearls
in your eyes and in our names
trashed photographs
a history erased
ana
ana
fieldwork glory
cross-stitch royalty
plumb pies tomato vines
that grew to the sky
a bullet wound
a cracked head
a language lost
a country fled
lovers and mothers dead
lovers and mothers dead
ana
can I ask ya
what's mine to take?
ana
I'm of ya
tryna find my place
you said you used to sing
on the street for all to see
I'm hungry for your stories
I invoke you to speak
where do I come from ana
I am not of this land
I'm walking in circles
and reaching out my hands
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12. |
Nightloop
01:44
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it's night
and I'm looping through myself
peeling off myself
till I'm awake
stay
katydids and distant car engines
unsolvable
provocation
got my fortune told
and I like growing old
my hair reaches down my back
my love is elastic
walk
powers out, it's too hot to stay inside
so dark I become the night
glowing eyes
in the high grass
portals to moments passed
shared consciousness
incidental music
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